Saturday, January 25, 2014

Divorced Moms column is out! (And a very touching email about abuse): 9 Reasons Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

My latest Divorced Moms column is out! But before I get to that, I'd like to share a comment I just received today and my response back to her. Count this as one more reason I blog, and I blog very descriptively. Coming out of the shadows and living in truth, honesty, and in full openness is liberating. I spent far too long living a lie and covering up. And, truthfully, helping others is one of the reasons I get out of bed in the morning.

k - January 25, 2014   Delete                            
This could not be more timely! As I sit here after being thrown out of a car in 5 degree weather to walk 2 miles home last night.  Again.  He would not leave my home.  Took my cell. I got help next door and called the police for the first time.  He was taken to the station in a patrol car.  Last time this happened, the contrite, sappy nice messages started just like clockwork.  I bought into it.  And hear I am again 30 days later.  ENOUGH! I live in an upper middle class area, too vulvernable for this bs.  Divorced less then a year after a 30 year marriage.  Again, ENOUGH.  Glad I got neighbors and police involved.  

Lizzy Smith - January 25, 2014 Publish  Delete
K: Thank you for your comment and sharing your story. I am so very sorry to hear that. Having lived through the craziness of abuse, I know the horror you are enduring. The ONLY way to make it stop is to just cut ties completely. Easier said than done. Sharing my story is one of the reasons I blog. I write a lot about stories from my life in abuse. Check it out at I write very detailed experiences because some of the things that happened are so "over the top" that even I sometimes can't believe it. I want others to know that they are not alone when crazy things are happening at home. And it's not OK. It IS possible to escape. It's hard. It's traumatic. But the good news is that it will eventually end. If you stay in abuse, it will never stop. I wish you all the best. There are great support groups. Find one. If you ever need an "e-friend", I can be found at

Ok, I want to cry right now. These stories just rip my heart out.

...And now onto my Divorced Moms column. As you can imagine, it's about abuse. (And, seriously, if you're being abused, get ready to get out! I've written on that topic before. You can read it right here: How To Leave Abuse Behind.)

9 Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships (according to my kids)
By Lizzy Smith, Contributor - January 25, 2014
20131204_182342_resized.jpgWhy do victims stay? Ah, the million dollar question.
I used to think that any victim who stayed with her abuser was dependent and pathetic. And then I found myself in that very situation. My husband never hit me but the verbal abuse was intense. Yet there I was, I hadn’t left yet.

Physical abuse is obvious and dangerous. Life threatening. When someone is beating you up, you know it. Verbal abuse is just as damaging but tougher to recognize because there’s nothing to look at. They wounds reside in your soul.

Keep reading...