Tuesday, August 12, 2014

From Divorced Moms: How did I become so boring?

My latest on Divorced Moms. I absolutely love the "newness" a breakup brings. Granted, this breakup is one I wanted and was one hundred percent my decision. I've had horrible, painful breakups that are world-shattering. This breakup isn't one of them. With that said, I wake up every day excited about the new community I've become part of, my new friendships, and the flexibility I have to do what I want. I was one boring girl in my last relationship. William and I had great times together. We were so much alike in our likes and routines that it was uncanny. I loved the person and partner that I was in the relationship. I communicated well, was honest, kind, never screamed, and was thoughtful. It brought out the best in me as a partner. That said, yawn. I bored myself, now that I look back on it.

...And so it is that I look for my passion. Here's my take on how I'm doing that now.

How Did I Become So Boring? Single Again, I've (re)Discovered Fun
by Lizzy Smith                    
August 11, 2014                                                     
park city.jpg

On Friday night, I met up with five girlfriends at a swanky restaurant/bar. I dressed up in my new favorite boyfriend jeans and sexy top. I dug out my fun strappy silver sandals that I rarely wear and donned my YSL lip gloss. As we shared sushi roles, indulged in lemon martinis, and caught up on our (very interesting) lives, I thought, “This is so Sex in the City.” It was fun and I realized that I hadn’t done this sort of thing in forever. A few hours later, a nice guy that I’ve been dating a bit joined us. We listened to a live band, danced, and even sang along with the musicians until almost one in the morning. Me dance? Do you know how long it's been since I've gone dancing? Oh my gosh!

It dawned on me the next morning that in my quest to be the perfect mom, girlfriend, daughter and myeloma warrior, I had become (gasp) so incredibly boring. Dull. Stagnant. Predictable. Yuck.
Since leaving my husband in the wake of my cancer diagnosis, my entire focus was fighting my disease, getting a divorce, and taking care of my two young daughters. Once the divorce was done and I was in remission, my entire focus then shifted to my boyfriend (and making sure his needs were met), my daughters, and healing my body and soul. Yoga, power walks, meditation, nutrition, massages and traveling. That was my world. And those things are great and necessary. They are still my priority.

But what about fun?

Since I decided to end it with my boyfriend of nearly two years, I’ve (re)discovered a whole new world, and I rather like it. It’s a world of possibility. Potential. New relationships. And, yes, fun.

Keep reading...