Do I really want to marry again?
by Lizzy Smith
August 14, 2014
I was sharing a soda with my friend, Fred, a few days ago and we were talking about relationships and dating again. Unexpectedly he asked, “Do you really want to remarry?”
“Of course,” I answered without hesitating. “I believe in love and…” and I stopped. Did I?
During this long pause, Fred had a follow-up: “Because you’re such a free spirit.”
Me? A free spirit? I suppose I am, whatever that means. And having just exited a long-term relationship, I realize that, yet again, I’m really good at this whole “moving on” thing. If I can walk away from a boyfriend as painlessly as I just did, it begs the question: Am I able to feel that amazing, passionate, undying love that I feel I must have before I remarry?
After I gathered my thoughts together, I responded a little more eloquently. “I believe in finding love and The One. Of course I aspire to finding that connection and marriage makes it permanent. But I’d far rather be single and free and calling my own shots than in a bad marriage again.”
I actually loved being married. I mean, I hated my marriage. It was truly one of those horrific marriages that addiction brings. But I loved being in a partnership. I loved having a family. I loved my children having their dad in the same home. I loved having a home, throwing dinner parties, and, well, being a wife. I would like that again. But only if all the components are right.
Fred and I moved on to another topic. But since that conversation, I’ve been thinking a lot. Do I really want to remarry? And how important is getting married again to me?