Friday, March 7, 2014

My latest Divorced Moms column is out!

My latest Divorced Moms column is out.

My Flirt With Revenge Sex and the Importance of Vows                     

By Lizzy Smith, Contributor - March 07, 2014                                            

Fotolia_34797446_XS.jpgIn case you’ve missed it in my other posts, I was married to an alcoholic. A highly functioning alcoholic, but an abusive alcoholic nonetheless. It was really frustrating taking his alcoholism far more seriously than he did. I went to therapy, Alanon, read books… you name it. I knew more about his disease and spent far more time learning about coping skills than he did.

One day after a heated argument, I decided that I owed nothing to our relationship anymore. In fact, just the opposite—his continued behavior gave me license to do whatever I wanted. And, truth be told, I knew that if I had an affair, he would probably leave and never come back.

We had separated countless times in the past. He would go to his mother’s house for a few days and then would come home boldly proclaiming in his loud booming voice: “This is my home and I’m not leaving!”

And there you have it. But if I had an affair, I was quite certain he wouldn’t come back and that, to me, sounded heavenly. I would finally hurt him as badly as his alcoholic behavior was hurting me and our children. It sounded quite reasonable.

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