Monday, March 17, 2014

Latest Divorced Moms column: Honesty is Always the Best Policy

My latest Divorced Moms column is out! Enjoy.

Honesty is Always the Best Policy (Especially During Divorce)
By Lizzy Smith
March 13, 2014

If there is one tip I’d like to offer up it’s this: be honest during your divorce process! I know it can be incredibly hard not embellish facts and events or, dare I say, even make them up entirely in order to bolster your side. And especially when your ex might be telling lies about you, well, it’s hard not to do the same. But don’t! It will not bode well in the end, I promise you. Lies haunt you forever—especially when they’re written or spoken under oath.

When my ex, Rob, and I split, I got pleadings, filings and letters that were outrageous and false. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Truth and alcoholism are not friends, after all. Nonetheless, I sometimes wondered if Rob’s attorney was confusing me with someone else because what they sent over had nothing to do with truth.

Especially fun was Rob’s statement that he didn’t drink and that alcohol had not been a problem in our marriage. He said that he had been a calm and loving husband throughout our marriage. He denied dating anyone on Match, though he had been with the same woman since a few days after I had left him in order to seek cancer treatments. When Rob allowed a stranger to move into our vacation rental without telling me and then tried to get me to foot half the bill for this guy’s failure to pay any rent, I almost choked on my dinner. It was comical, ridiculous, and bizarre. Wow, I thought, how drunk was Rob when he wrote most of this stuff?

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