Series Part 4 Marriage Hell: My Wedding Day Looms. Help Me!
by Lizzy Smith
June 05, 2014
How the heck did I end up married to a man I didn't love and then allow him to abuse me? Good question. I write my story in an effort to try to understand it myself. Welcome to the series, “Marriage Hell.”
Rob and I moved into our new home on June 1 and our wedding was just two months later on August 4. The time between the two big events were insanely busy unpacking, getting settled, planning a wedding, and attempting to get our three kids established in their new routines and rules. Some days were fun. I loved having a home and really threw myself into painting and decorating and making our new home "ours." I loved nesting (when I wasn't on the verge of a panic attack).
There were days that I would think, "At 39 years old, I finally have what I've always wanted- a husband, children, home, good career, and pets. This is how it's supposed to be. I've arrived!”
And there were other days that I was not Ok at all. One day I was at work and was on a long and very boring conference call. I went to Realtor.com and there was the condo in Pacific Beach that my seven year old daughter and I were living in before we moved into our new home. It was officially for sale. I got teary. That was my house! I wanted it back more than anything. I didn’t want to be getting married. I didn’t want the big house. I wanted simplicity. I wanted cozy, cute and fresh. I wanted my old life back.
Instead, I switched sites and ordered my wedding dress online.