Thursday, March 19, 2015

From Divorced Moms: Marriage Hell-- I'm not an alcoholic! It's YOUR fault!

From Divorced Moms.

Marriage Hell: I'm Not An Alcoholic! It's YOUR Fault!
by Lizzy Smith                                      
March 10, 2015
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In September 2011, Rob started his typical screaming/tirade episode at me. And he said something to me that really did shock me for once.
He screamed with his shrill voice, "I talked to my alcohol counselor and I'm NOT AN ALCOHOLIC."

OK, so that did floor me. I was speechless for once. I said, "Well, Rob, if you tell me you're an alcoholic, I'm going to believe you're an alcoholic."

"I ONLY SAID THAT TO TRY AND SAVE THE MARRIAGE!" I'm telling you that NO ONE can scream like Rob.

So we had a couple's counseling session with his alcohol therapist. Except, as usual, Rob didn't show up. Just me. "Rob tells me you say he's not an alcoholic. Well, whatever he is or isn't-- I will tell you he has a drinking problem. It materially changes his personality and it's a big problem in our marriage and it was a huge problem in his last marriage," I told her.

"Wait a minute," she jumped it. "I did NOT tell Rob he isn't an alcoholic. Rob is an alcoholic."

"But he told me you told him that he wasn't," I stammered.

"That's not what I said. Just because he can go days without drinking, or even go on the wagon for a few months, doesn't make him NOT an alcoholic. It makes him a dry alcoholic. It drives everything he does. Every decision he makes."

"But why would he tell me that?" I asked.

"Because alcoholics lie. And Rob is no exception."

Yes, alcoholics do lie. It's the pathology of their disease. I felt so stupid and duped. I knew he lied. He lied to me about his drinking, where he was, what he was doing. He lied to others about everything and I'd bight my tongue so as not to embarrass anyone. He embarrassed me around others when we had had too much to drink.
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