Thursday, March 19, 2015

Divorced Moms: Marriage Hell-- You have a tiny penis and you suck in bed

From Divorced Moms.

Marriage Hell: You Have A Tiny Penis & You Suck In Bed
by Lizzy Smith                    
March 16, 2015
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Fotolia_70369243_XS.jpgIn case you missed it, I was married to a highly functioning, raging alcoholic who was verbally and emotionally abusive. And on the eve of my cancer diagnosis, I finally had enough and left him for good.

Throughout our marriage, our typical fighting pattern went like this: Rob would get drunk (or want to get drunk) and scream at me in that horrid pitch that only Rob can reach. Ninety percent of the time, I'd walk away. After all, arguing with a drunk is pointless. But that would never be good enough for Rob. He'd follow me around the house. Sometimes I'd say something like, "I'm walking away from you. Go away." In which case he'd respond by screaming some more with this crazed, glazed look in his eyes. If it was a weekend, I'd pack up the girls and me and go stay in a hotel or stay with my best friends in Long Beach before coming back. And then Rob would start texting or emailing me horrible messages, which I'd ignore for a day or two. And then I'd start responding. It would take two to four days before Rob would calm down enough and apologize for his ridiculous behavior and promise to go to help with his drinking problem. And, of course, that would never happen. He'd say he was at an AA meeting when, in fact, he was drinking at the San Diego Brewing Co instead.

Rob always accused me of having a huge temper. I can honestly say that I deserve a medal for the most part for ignoring his stupid behavior. Until I didn't. That one out of 10 times that I decided to fight back got ugly because I was ready to defend myself (finally) with every ounce of energy I had.

So this time I told him what I really thought about him but always had the somewhat good sense beforehand to not say. Because this time, I wanted to finish the marriage, make Rob hate me enough that he would never attempt to come back. I wanted him gone forever. So I told him the following:

You have the smallest penis ever

You suck in bed

You're beer belly is disgusting 

I never loved you (true statement)
When I met Rob, he was simply a guy to hang out with while I tried to mend my shattered heart from a prior relationship. Rob was really good at selling himself as a good, honest, sweet guy who simply had been terrorized by his ex wife who never appreciated what a great guy he really was. He seemed innocent and kind and helpful. He was great with my daughter and good to me. This is what Rob does-- when there's an audience, he's "on it". And he was aggressively pursuing me. When we purchased our home and got married, I didn't love him at all. I liked and respected him and thought we could have a good future together as companions and parents. The problem was, Rob is none of the things he portrays himself to be. And once I figured that out, ever learning to love him was impossible.

I cheated on you (not true)
I told Rob that I cheated on him with my ex boyfriend Tom. I knew this would cut through his heart. Rob's ex-wife had an affair when they were married and it had traumatized him. I told Rob that I cheated on him and his next wife would cheat on him, too, because he was a horrible husband. Well, that part is true. He is a horrible partner. Unpredictable, volatile, a liar, a hair trigger temper, mean and lazy. But I never cheated on him.

There! Now I knew he'd never come back. I finally poured gasoline on top of my marriage, lit a match, and watched it burn.

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