If you're getting ready to embark on a chemo regimen, here's my advice to you: If you love something, REFRAIN until after you're done. Because if you loved it once, you might not anymore. Some things will trigger some memories you'd rather forget so proceed cautiously.
Here are a few things I completely and utterly hate now:
-CNN's Erin Burnett 360. Seriously, I think Erin is actually a very capable journalist (plus she looks a lot like my cousin, Rachel, who I like very much). However, when I was in my "clean apartment" during my first transplant, my mom was my fulltime caregiver (my dad was my caregiver during my second transplant). And every night, she watched this show. To this day, if Erin comes on, I have to leave the room.
-Say Yes to the Dress. When I had to stay in a hotel for a week during neutropenia, my daughters spent the weekend with me. We would stay up late watching this show, one episode after the next, all three of us in bed. I can't watch it anymore. That show brings back great memories for them. Not for me, though. Yuck.
-Apples. I still love apples and will eat them but if they are the Gala apples and they aren't pre-cut, I can hardly look at them.
-Any music by Demi Lovato. I absolutely cannot stand Demi. During the spring that I felt like hell, I watched an Ellen show where she interviewed Demi and then Demi sang Give Your Heart a Break and from then on, she drives me crazy. I can't be more emphatic enough about this one. Like, she makes me want to bash my head into a wall. She seriously bugs. Maybe if I had felt better, I'd like her. But then again, maybe not.
-Katy Perry. I actually think Katy is adorable. Her music, not so much. That said, my daughters begged me to take them to the Katy movie during the summer 2012. It was between my two transplants, it was incredibly hot outside, and I was having a really crappy-feeling day. But I wanted to get them out of the house and do something just the three of us. So we went. Ugh.
-My wig that's attached to a baseball cap. Really, wearing wigs was not my favorite thing. But I had this wig that was attached to a baseball cap. It was really comfy to wear and very easy to put on. So it was my wig of choice during my transplants because putting any other wig on was too much of an effort. I'd get out of bed, take off my pink beanie cap, and throw on my baseball cap wig, and off we'd go to clinic. I refused to ever step out of the house with hair on, which meant no scars for me! If I even look at that wig now, it makes my heart pound. I hate it.
Case in point, if there are certain things you love-- like foods, music, TV shows, and the like, you might want to consider avoiding it during heavy duty treatment.