Rob says if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't even have a job!

Abusers tear down their victims. It's how they keep us stuck, trying to survive in their chaos and web of lies and deceit. One of the countless ways Rob the Great (Alcoholic) tore me down was trying to convince me that without him, I couldn't survive life. Somehow, I wouldn't be able to live on my own, I couldn't have survived the 18-hour San Diego blackout of 2011 (or, as it turned out, without his SCREAMING at me that night), and I couldn't even get a job on my own.

Let's start with a few facts: I have a college degree. I have years of experience in my field. I've worked for large companies and had a successful career. My job as AVP of Communications at one of the largest companies in the world was coming to an end as they were getting ready to close down the business unit I was working for. So I started looking for another job. I sent off resumes to two of San Diego's largest employers. Long story short, I got job offers from both-- nearly identical offers, with the same title. I had a choice. But somehow, all of this was... thanks to Bob?

Let's hear it straight from Bob the Great's mouth:

From: Rob the Great
To: Lizzy Smilez
Subject: Re: Your counseling Appt.

Oh, I'm reading this, I helped you get the Michelle job and through Jorge Dasilva, you got connected with a job with Sara that would pay you right.

----- Original Message -----
From: Lizzy Smilez
To: Rob the Great
Subject: Re: Your counseling Appt.

You don't want to go to counseling and we both know why. And I never expected you to show. As usual, I take your alcohol recovery far more seriously than you do. I went a year ago alone when you were a no-show and I will again.

I got both job offers on my own. Believe it when I tell you that my resume is very, very strong and I interview very well. Being unhappy in a job doesn't begin to address your alcoholism or our intolerable way of communicating. It was inexcusable for you to SCREAM at me when I asked you a very simple question while doing OUR budget- it takes me a long time and I HATE it. Yet you SCREAMED at me in a second. What the HELL was that about????

I love sober Rob. I guess. I haven't really known a Rob who was seriously trying to conquor a VERY SERIOUS disease.

And you are right: you have no ability to stop me from moving anywhere with the kids. I will make that very serious decision when I must. I am clearly at a crossroads and I will very soon decide which path to take.

So while we're emaling (since we can't talk or you refuse to go to therapy) let's discuss that you drank while I was away and you did some other things that were way out of line, there's plenty of blame to go around so take a long look in the mirror yourself. I am very much looking forward to my therapy appt more than you know and I will embrace the hour alone if you don't show up. Notice that I don't beg you to do anything anymore. I know I'm sitting on a ticking timebomb and life is highly unstable for me.

So my next email was to Michelle, my hiring manager. And the next email I send off will be to Jorge DaSilva. Something tells me I got my next job within the company all on my own!

11:02am

Lizzy Smilez

Hi. I've got to ask: when you hired me at sempra, did anyone "encourage" you to hire me? I'm going thru old emails and bob says that I got the job thanks to him.

12:40pm

Michelle

Lol. No. I liked you on my own. I had never even met bob before.

If you talk to Rob, you'd thing he was The Most Important guy at work. Seriously, without Rob the Great (Alcoholic) none of San Diego would have any power. Except no one believes that but Rob. During the blackouts, Rob was telling Nicole that he was busy at work solving the power crisis. Except that wasn't true (yes, Rob actually lies!). He actually left work early, beat me home, picked up Siena (drunk, of course), and by the time Morgan and I got home, he was ready to terrorize me-- and boy oh boy, terrorize me he did.

Kalie called me that evening and we had a good laugh that Rob was telling lies aimed at convincing others how very, very important he was when, in reality, he was just home drunk. Rob's a legend (in his own mind anyway).

Note to Victims: Believe NOTHING that comes out of the mouth of an alcoholic, especially when it has anything to do with putting you down. There's only ONE reason Rob the Great  (Alcoholic) took credit for my job offers: to make me feel worthless. That's an abuser for ya.