Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Divorced Moms: The Opposite of Love is... Passionless Indifference

My latest on Divorced Moms. The opposite of love isn't hate... it's indifference. Wow, epiphany moment. And isn't that the truth, from my own cache of experiences. Here goes. (And shout-out to Alan for his insight and words of wisdom. I love connecting with my readers! Best part of writing, I gotta say.)

The Opposite of Love is... Passionless Indifference
by Lizzy Smith                     
September 30, 2014
Share on Tumblr
My close friend, “Beth,” and her boyfriend, “Mitch,” dated for over two years. They had a terrible breakup that included allegations of cheating, lying, emotional abuse and a whole lot more. The police were called, a strict no-contact order was put into place, and mutual friends were forced to pick sides. One was either Team Beth or Team Mitch, there was no gray, no neutral zone.

Beth hated Mitch. She talked about him often, she swore up and down that he was the most awful guy on the planet, and she went to great lengths to ensure that everyone knew it. Mitch wasn’t a whole lot better. There was a reason he was an awful boyfriend, he told his supporters, and that was because Beth was a horrible girlfriend. She was selfish and didn’t give him the attention he was entitled to. Beth was the ultimate nag and he was glad to be rid of her.

Several months later, Beth got a call from the police while she was grocery shopping. Mitch wanted the no contact order lifted so that they could communicate again. Beth was floored. Sure, it was fine if Mitch wanted to contact her again but no way in hell would she ever reconcile with that asshole, she told the police. A few hours later, Mitch called Beth. She didn’t take the call but she did text him and, oh my, the texts were awful. Plenty of accusations flew between the two of them. When Beth showed me her phone and I read them myself, it left me breathless. Ouch.

After several days of texting, Beth and Mitch decided to meet up and have it out in person. They went to a restaurant and for the next two hours, the conversation got quite animated and loud. Beth said they might have caused a scene, though she was so focused on the interaction between the two of them that she failed to notice anything else. She did say that at one point she knocked her drink over. Beth drove home in tears, shaking. Did the meet-up provide much-needed closure and comfort? No, said Beth, it was awful and she wished she hadn’t gone at all. She felt dark inside and in need of a shower.

Keep reading...