I Miss My Dad! How Sometimes 'Moving On' Just Isn't An Option
by Lizzy Smith
September 08, 2014
My 14 year old daughter, Morgan, and I got into a huge argument a few nights ago. She accused me of being an endless nag. I accused her of being a self-entitled, spoiled, ungrateful child. And it just went downhill from there. Until she started sobbing, “Mom, I just want a dad. I miss my dad so much. It hurts.” And it was that gut-wrenching sob that no mom ever likes to hear.
My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. Does anything hurt a divorced mom more than those words? I’m not sure anything quickly comes to mind. I started crying. I talked her into sleeping with me that night and she did. We stayed up way too late talking, and this was good.
“You have no idea how badly I wish things were different, honey. I wish I could change it but I can’t. I wish I had made a better choice when picking men. I am so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I just miss him,” she said.
I know. I see it in her eyes. It’s been really intense lately, those memories of Daddy. While she saw the horrific fights and felt the effects of living in in an alcoholic home, Daddy was the fun one. He expected nothing of substance from any of the children, like doing homework and chores around the house. He was always about fun, going fishing and to Sea World, staying up late, and throwing family parties.