Sunday, February 21, 2016

A classic tale of what NOT to do once you split from your wife

My latest via Divorced Moms. My ex gave me so much writing material that I feel I should send him a thank you note. (Not really) Anyway, marriage can be amazing or it can be Hell. In my case, marriage to my ex was hell.

6 Stupid Things My Ex Did After We Split
by Lizzy Smith                    
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February 21, 2016
635372692743065457Fotolia_59449312_XS.jpgMy ex husband, Rob the Great (Alcoholic) is quite a stupid man. He portrays himself as brilliant, smart, honest, kind, and soft-spoken when you first meet him. But after time, his complete stupidity comes out. You see, anyone can pretend to be any kind of person for a time. But sooner or later, the real "you" comes out and, in Rob's case, it's not pretty. The REAL Rob the Great is an alcoholic, liar, screaming, abusive bully who is really quite stupid. He was stupid during our marriage and he was really stupid once we split. His mistakes made our divorce go in my direction. I won literally everything I wanted (and was entitled to) because he behaved so stupidly. And, ladies, if you are in the midst of a divorce (or a court battle), you can learn from his mistakes.

1. He Lied
When Rob and I split, I had just been diagnosed with cancer. I went on medical leave and entered heavy-duty treatment which included massive amounts of chemotherapy and two back-to-back stem cell transplants. I was incredibly sick. Rob proceeded to file documents with the court that accused me of being a liar, faking my cancer diagnosis, and being lazy. He demanded that I go back to work immediately. He lied about my income stream, my living situation, and tried to portray me as someone who was perfectly healthy and who was simply trying to gain sympathy with the court. The more he lied to the court, the more I looked forward to a trial before a judge. I was totally honest in every sentence of every document I filed. I was also totally honest with my attorney. I was confident because I had nothing to hide and I didn't need to try to keep my stories straight, like Rob did. I was transparent and, if I was deposed or got on the stand, I would not be committing perjury. I could prove every single one of his lies and it strengthened me and emboldened me. When it came to negotiating our financial settlement, I did not budge one tiny bit. My attorney reminded me that if I divorce went all the way to court, I would need to travel back to San Diego and take the stand. I relished the opportunity-- I had seen Rob try to speak before a judge and he sounded like a bumbling idiot. I knew that things would not go well for him. This confidence left me in a prime position to get every single penny I deserved. I wanted to go to court; Rob didn't, simple as that. And as a result, Rob caved. He lost in a very big way (as he should have). He owed me a lot of money and I got every cent I was due.

Lesson: Never lie in court documents. It might be really tempting but honesty is always best, especially when it comes to anything related to court.

2. He Picked Alcohol
Rob's alcoholism was the single reason for our horrific marriage. It ended our relationship and it ended his prior marriage, too. After I left Rob, one would think he would finally take responsibility for his addiction and behavior and attempt to truly get well. This would have meant therapy and a lot of time spent in a 12-step program, like AA. Instead of taking care of himself, he drank more than ever, which left just enough time to work, date, and drink some more. Take care of other responsibilities? When one is drunk off his ass every night, that's impossible.

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