Monday, July 13, 2015

Lessons from my teen - on finding the perfect boy and taking your time

I sent my 15 year old daughter to a one week writer's camp a few days ago. It took place at BYU and she stayed in the dorms the entire time. I missed her like crazy. It was her second camp of the summer (she's doing three)-- the first was a Girl's Camp sponsored by our church, the second was the writer's camp, and in a few hours I'm sending her to an outdoor adventure-type camp sponsored by a church we sometimes attend, South Mountain Community Church. Anyway, she developed her writer's voice and some new writing skills. It was quite intensive (it better have been-- it wasn't cheap!). When she came home, I decided it was time to put some of those newly acquired skills to work and have her guest write one of my Divorced Moms' columns. Here is her first. I think she did a great job writing it but, more importantly, she is so dang smart and wise. At her age, I was boy crazy and any attention I got from a boy was good attention. (Not that I was a floozy-- I made it through high school a very innocent girl.)

Anyway, enjoy! I hope you all are having a fabulous summer. We leave for our last trip of the summer in two weeks. I cannot believe that at some point soon, the summer will be over. I'm so sad! Except... I'm getting married on October 3 so when the kids head back to school, I am in full wedding planning mode. In fact, while Morgan is off to camp, Siena and I are doing a Mommy-Daughter date wedding dress shopping. Fun!

Lessons From A Teen: Finding A Perfect Boy (And Taking Your Time)
by Morgan Nielsen for the Lizzy Smith column                    
July 10, 2015
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My very wise teen daughter is learning important life lessons on how to find a good guy. She shares part of her journey of discovery right here. I had to share because I think we can learn a lot from her. Why wasn't I that smart when picking my ex? Enjoy!
Finding A Great Guy (They Do Exist!)
By Morgan Nielsen (age 15)

A couple months ago my friend introduced me to a cute boy who I will call “Guy” and we started talking and texting. Guy seemed really cool and sweet and we talked every day and realized we liked the same things. After a couple of months of talking he told me that he was starting to develop feelings for me and I realized that I was developing feelings for him, too. He told me he was single but wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was fine with that because I didn’t want one either. But every time I talked to Guy I got butterflies in my stomach. One of my guy friends asked me who I liked and I told him about Guy. He told me that Guy had a girlfriend. So I texted Guy asking if that was true and he told me it was. My heart dropped to my stomach and I felt like curling into a ball and crying. I told him that he should have told me and that he shouldn’t be telling me things like he had a crush on me when he already has a girlfriend. I told him that I said it was nice to meet him and that he shouldn’t text me again. I then deleted him as a contact. It was the right thing to do. As hard as it was to say goodbye to Guy it had to be done because I deserved more than what he was saying and giving to me.

This experience taught me how important it is to find a good boy to date. There are three things that you should watch for when dating. They are loyal, funny, and shares the same interests. These three things are essential for dating a person you like, at least it is for me.

Loyalty is a quality of being faithful to the person you’re dating. That means that when you are in a relationship that you don’t go talking to other boys or girls for the purpose of building a relationship with someone else. Loyalty is very important because that means that you can trust the person that you are dating. No one wants to go out with a boy after you hear he has cheated on his girlfriend because you ask yourself “will he do the same thing to me?” That is such a simple answer YES. He will try to sweet talk you and say cute things to you but you can’t fall for it. Someone once said “once a cheater, always a cheater.” I live by that because I believe it’s true.

Going back to my story about Guy... A couple of weeks later I got a weird text saying “sup babe?” I was really confused. I asked who it was and he said, “whoever you want this to be cutie.” I asked again who it was and he told me it was Guy. I never replied to him because earlier that day I talked to one of my friends that’s a girl and she told me she was going out with Guy. So I knew again that he was talking to other girls not just his girlfriend. So I’m learning at the age of 15 that once a cheater, always a cheater. So I plan to avoid them the best way I know how.

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