Monday, May 26, 2014

Divorced Moms column: Marriage Hell Series Part 1: How I Ended Up Married to this Ass

As promised, here is the first in an eight part series of Marriage Hell, which is publishing on Divorced Moms every Monday and Thursday, beginning today.

Series Part 1 Marriage Hell (or How I Ended Up Marrying This Ass)
by Lizzy Smith                    
May 26, 2014
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How the heck did I end up married to a man I didn't love and then allow him to abuse me? Good question. I write my story in an effort to try to understand it myself. Welcome to the series, “Marriage Hell.”

My path to marriage began with my ex boyfriend, Tom, the guy I really loved and the one who got away. When Tom and I broke up, I was devastated. I was nursing my shattered heart when I met Rob. Within a few weeks of dating, Rob asked me for a commitment. I said “not yet.” I was dating other guys and I told Rob that he should, too. He had been separated for just six months, after all (though I learned years later that Rob had only been separated for a few weeks and had lied to me about it). In my opinion, jumping from one relationship to the next is a sign of a really wounded guy in need of therapy, not a new girlfriend.

The first sample of Rob’s explosive temper came not too long after we started dating. I was at his home when he got a call from his ex wife. "Rob, I'm happy you're dating someone new, but you have kids so please take it slow," she said before Rob cut her off in a very loud booming voice (a voice I soon came to loathe): "I don't give a fuck what you think!" and he hung up on her. "Sorry," he said to me in a sheepish voice. “I learned that communication skill from her.”

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