Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Should we raise our daughters to be financially strong adults one day? Heck yes!

From Divorced Moms today. Enjoy! (And give the women in your life a huge hug. It's International Women's Day today!)

The Value of Independence. Raising Daughters In Tough Times
by Lizzy Smith                    

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March 08, 2016
635502381947890040Fotolia_70945173_XS.jpgNot that long ago, I sat across a table at a local Beans & Brew, sipping coffee and talking to a friend “Tori” who was giving me the rundown on her marriage. Her husband cheated on her with a single neighbor. She read some of his private emails and got the surprise of her life- her husband was in love with another woman and she knew her. And, she discovered, he was also a porn addict (just about every Mormon woman I know has a husband who is/was a porn addict, whether that is true or not is debatable).

“I don’t love him,” she said almost flippantly. “Sometimes I think I hate him.”

“Does he know this?” I asked.

“Yes. He says he loves me and wants our marriage to work. He ended the affair,” she said. She was so matter-of-fact I couldn’t determine how she really felt about the whole thing. Numb maybe?

“What are you going to do?”

“Oh, I’m staying. I thought about leaving him but no way. It comes down to the fact that I don’t want to work. If I leave him, I’m going to have to get a job and support these kids and I don’t want to,” she said.

Wow. This brought to mind another story of another friend several years back. I’ll call her “Clara.” Clara had a kindergartner, “Timmy” who announced to his teacher one day that his dad was hitting and punching him. He showed the principle the bruises to prove it. Clara got a call that afternoon from a police officer. He informed Clara that they had just interviewed Timmy at school and she had two choices: 1) Move out of her marital home with her son in tow while the investigation took place; 2) Have Timmy taken into protective custody and placed in foster care. Clara rushed home, packed a few suitcases, picked her son up at school and waited for social workers to arrive with papers “allowing” her and Timmy to move out (Clara’s husband was threatening to fight any attempts to move Timmy). When they arrived, one social worker handed Clara a list of women’s shelters she could go to.

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