Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Winter is here. I love!

On Saturday evening, William, Morgan, Siena and I met up with my brother Jason, his wife, and their two year old son, Dylan, for the Christmas tree lighting ceremony and concert at the Lehi Outlets. We froze our tushes off, it was so cold! And I loved it. Well, sort of. We forgot where we parked the car and walked around the parking lot for a solid 35 minutes in temps with the wind-chill that hovered around five degrees. That part sucked, but the rest was fun. We danced, sang along, and shopped at H&M. Afterwards we got dinner. This is a great way to usher in winter, the holidays, and chilly temps. I love the seasons. In San Diego, it was mostly summer all year long. It's lovely. But I also love snow, bundling up, being cozy, and wearing winter clothes, coats and boots.

One thing was noticeably absent-- my fatigue and fuzzy/buzzy feeling. The reason? Because Friday was my first day back in my ongoing myeloma maintenance treatment and those meds have yet to take affect. I haven't needed to lie down like a must typically do almost every day. I haven't felt that weird fuzzy-buzzy feeling. No fatigue. Just general malaise thanks to my fight with a cold. Every six months, I really need to advocate for myself that I need a two to three week break from treatment. My body needs it (I think). My brain needs it. It's nice to be reminded what I felt like pre multiple myeloma diagnosis. It's a great pick-me-up.

Earlier that day, I engaged in some major retail therapy. I do this once per season and I felt sort of drunk afterwards, I gotta say. I purchased all kinds of fun new clothes, including booties, velvet skinny jeans, two cocktail dresses, sweaters, a skirt, and more. Siena took photos and cheered me on. Morgan wasn't nearly as thrilled with waiting for me to try stuff on. Oh well!

Yesterday was not a fun day. Morgan is struggling with a back injury (more on that one later). And I saw a photo of my ex husband. I haven't seen him for almost 2.5 years. He looked the same-- drink in hand, dirty T-shirt... I know Morgan saw the photo, too, and it was a dagger in her heart. She misses him and it breaks my heart what he has done to her. I know he says "well you made the decision to move to Salt Lake City from San Diego so live with it." How can you ever resolve anything when someone thinks like him.

So William came over and surprised me with... an outfit! Beautiful Ugg boots, necklace, Spyder vest, sweater, and Fossil handbag. It was so nice and cheered me right up. We then all went to dinner, William, the girls and me, we dropped him off, and then I took Morgan back to Urgent Care because of her back. I could tell that her spirits were lifted from the time I picked her up from school (when she saw her dad's photo) to the time she went to bed. I love my daughters so much it hurts. Every time they are in any kind of pain, I am devastated. How anyone turns children into weapons to be used against someone else is utterly baffling to me. Well, I can't control anyone else so I've given up even trying.

And so as I battle this cold and get ready to work on the registration page for the Myeloma Beach Party in Fernandina Beach, Florida this coming March, I celebrate winter, change in season, cold, feeling decent, and life. Cheers!