Cancer Healing & Hospital Food (WTH?)

So this myeloma warrior spent 15 days in the hospital recently battling pneumonia. One of the most horrible parts of being in the hospital was the food. No joke, it was making my physically ill.

First, I was put on a neutoropenic diet, which means no fresh fruits and veggies unless they come in a heavy peal (like bananas and melons) or are cooked up. That alone drives me a little crazy because I absolutely love fresh produce. Like I probably eat an average of eight servings per day. The thought behind this rule is that if I get any kind of food-born illness, I have no immune system (like ZERO) to fight it.

Second, Huntsman gives you a room service menu that we patients can order off of any time we want from 6AM to 9PM. So when I first got into the hospital, no problem. I was ordering salmon, onion rings, steamed broccoli, green apples, soup... I was making as healthy choices as possible but the food was really disgusting. It was cold, under cooked or over cooked, inconsistent... Like once I ordered a tuna sandwich on sourdough. They brought me half a sandwich with almost no tuna. It was like two slices of bread with a small amount of spread. No pickles... nothing. The next day, I order the same thing. This time it's a full sandwich loaded with tuna and two pickles. The pizza dough was nearly raw. The steak un-chewable...

And then by day four I would eat breakfast and throw up. Lunch... throw it all up. For two days, I had zero calories because I could keep nothing down. Honestly, the food was horrid and just looking at the menu made me queasy. The nutritionist came to speak with me.

"I cannot eat this food," I told her. "It is too salty, raw, over cooked, overly processed. Even the soup comes straight out of a can. It is making me sick."

"Well," she said, "Here are our most popular items: milkshakes (we can add a banana), sole, enchiladas..." Instead of trying to find better and healthier ways for me to eat, it was what was most popular.

My doctor told me that to get discharged I must eat, not continue losing weight. So I started ordering milkshakes. The sole was horrid. The medical team ordered me meds to help me keep this disgusting, awful, unhealthy food down. It worked. Despite feeling awful just looking at the menu, I ate. And I stopped dropping weight. And I got discharged. Unsurprisingly, the minute I got home and started eating "real" food, I didn't need meds to keep poisonous food down. I just ate and started healing.

I have NO idea how cancer hospitals (or any hospital) can feel its patients like this. Foods that stress out our immune systems and help keep us sick. And then when our bodies revolt (like mine did), the response is to give us meds to hep us keep that disturbing food in our guts, making us weaker and sicker. This food does NOT aid us in healing.

One day when I was still in the hospital, I made this case to my doctor. "You must release me. I cannot heal anymore here. The food is making me sicker. It is stressing my immune system and is preventing me from healing. I don't eat like this at home. I need proper nutrition. I need proper rest. This is critical to my health."

I came home and reveled in cooked spinach and garlic with fresh lemon juice, salmon with minimal sodium. Cantaloupe. Quinoa. Grilled apples and oranges with cinnamon. Imagine this-- in the hospital I was continually low in potassium and needing massive potassium supplements. Of course I was! My diet in that hospital was vitamin and mineral deficient. I got home and after eating fresh grilled tomatoes, lots of avocados, bananas and potatoes, my potassium levels became normal.

Shame on hospitals! We sick people NEED and DESERVE far better than highly processed, sodium heavy, and highly unhealthy food. We deserve foods that support healing and health, not help poison us. I call for a complete overhaul. Shameful!

As I head into my stem cell transplant, we originally were going to do it in-patient in the hospital. But after 15 days of eating that food, I just can't. We are attempting this out-patient. One of the main reasons? I can't fathom eating that horrid, awful, unhealthy, poisonous food for two more weeks. I need food that will help me weather this procedure as well as possible. And staying away from hospital food is one way I hope to do this.

Four days of "no sugar"

Today I weigh 133.6. I completed my fourth day of mostly no sugar, processed foods, and GMO foods. I say "mostly" because I have accidentally eaten foods that had bad things in it but wasn't aware of it until after the fact. I am eating tons of calories. I eat and eat and eat. I have only craved sugar once and that was last night. I was very tempted to eat very sugary blueberry bread but I didn't. Instead I ate a tomato with olives and muenster cheese. It tasted good.

But before I get more into all of that, I must complain. My head will not stop pounding. Total sinus headache for, like, 10 days. Oh.My.Gosh. Yesterday, I just couldn't take it. I called my favorite spa, The Brick Canvas at Thanksgiving Point, and headed off for a 90 minute facial. It was the best facial I've had in my ENTIRE life. From the heated table, to steam, to massage, to eucalyptus essential oils. It helped. Well, sort of. I came home, took a shower and accidentally dumped shampoo into my eye. It felt like knives were stabbing me. I was in the shower wimpering. I didn't even bother to dry my hair. By the time it dried, my curly crazy hair was, like, out to 'here'. I put it in a big scrunchy pony and that was that. I am using my Past Tense essential oils, taking Claritin and Ibuprofin and still that headache WILL NOT GO AWAY. And going sugar free isn't helping.

Sigh.

So how am I eating these days? Well, today I started off with scrambled eggs, half an avocado and a tomato. Except most tomatoes are GMO (thanks, Monsanto!). I drank big water with lemon. I always have a smoothie but I don't have them for breakfast anymore. I find it a great snack mid day when I am HUNGRY and need something sweet. Yesterday, I had my smoothie at 3:00 with almond butter and banana and coconut milk. Today my smoothie will include pineapple, banana, and strawberries. I'll throw some chia seeds in it and flax seed oil, too. Also, I love oatmeal for breakfast or eggs. Last night for dinner, we went out to eat. I ate a huge salad with a hardboiled egg and olive oil and balsamic vinegar, vegetable cream soup (was there sugar in it? I hope not but it is possible), and some bread (I should have skipped the bread). I came home and ate lots of pine nuts, almonds, and sunflower seeds. I also ate a Baby Bell. I should probably stay away from dairy but I can't cut everything out. I don't eat a lot of dairy-- just eggs, some cheese, and cream in my coffee. I am going to try and get off coffee this summer. I'd like to switch to herbal teas but there is something so soothing and satiating about coffee. It's my comfort food.

For dinner tonight, I'm making sole, mashed potatoes (from scratch) and grilled green beans. Or, if I don't feel like doing green beans (my daughters love them so much they can eat the whole thing between the two of them), I'll do a ton of grilled spinach with garlic, balsamic, and some fresh parmesan cheese on top. Yum. For lunch today? Not sure yet. I will make that smoothie and probably get a coffee as soon as I get out of the shower. Maybe some hummus, bread, and walnuts. That actually kind of sounds good.

This week is just turning out to be insanely busy. It always is right before a big trip. And my torso still aches, though it seems to ache a bit less. I'm still tired and fatigued. I will not give up on this "no sugar" thing. I really hope it helps with fatigue and pain!!! I switched my clinic appointment from Friday to Thursday. Siena has her end of the year dance festival. Saturday I will do piles and piles of laundry, and on Monday, we will begin packing. Please I need to get on a plane and go away and refresh and rejuvenate and recharge and see new parts of the world. I need it very, very badly. Let the summer begin. No more homework packets, carpools, early out days (I HATE MONDAYS. THE KIDS ARE HOME AT 1:20 AAARGH!!!!!!!!), schedules, waking up early, all of it. No more structure for a while. I am so over it.

And that is today's rant. I am now going to take a shower and try to do something with this insane hair that I have. I used to have straight hair. Now it is tiny little curly ringlets. It's a struggle but at least it's hair. I love hair. Yes I do.